Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Dirt is old


THOUGHT  YOU MIGHT ENJOY THIS:  
     
    
Someone  asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when  you were growing up?'      'We  didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed  him.     'All  the food was slow.'
   
    
'C'mon, seriously. Where  did you eat?'
   'It  was a place called "at home," I explained!
   'Mom  cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down  together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what  she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did  like it.'
   
    
By  this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was  going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him  the part about how I had to have permission to leave the  table.
   But  here are some other things I would have told him about my  childhood if I figured his system could have handled it  :
   
    
Some  parents NEVER owned their own house, never  wore   Levis, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled  out of the country or had a credit  card.
   In  their later years they had something called a revolving charge  card. The card was good only at Sears  Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears &  Roebuck.     Either  way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he  died.
   
    
My  parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly  because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that  weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed,  (slow)
   We  didn't have a television in our house until I was  ? 5 or 6.
   It  was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the  air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a  poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a..m.  And  there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on,  featuring local people.
   
    
I  was in my teens before I tasted my first pizza, it was called  'pizza pie.'
   When  I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese  slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and  burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever  had..
   
    
I  never had a telephone in my  room.
   The  only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a  party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make  sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the  line.
   Pizzas  were not delivered to our home.  But milk  was.
   All  newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered  newspapers --my  brother and I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7  cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. 
   On  Saturday, we had to collect the 42 cents from our customers.  Our favorite customers were the ones who gave us 50 cents and  told us to keep the change. Our least favorite customers were  the ones who seemed to never be home on collection  day.
   
    
Movie  stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the  movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were  responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing,  without profanity or violence or most anything  offensive.
   
    
If  you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you  may want to share some of these memories with your children or  grandchildren Just don't blame me if they bust a gut  laughing.
   
    
Growing up isn't what  it used to be, is it?
   MEMORIES  from a friend :
   My  Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in  December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In  the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I  knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea..  She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or  something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the  ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't  have steam irons. Man, I am  old.
   How  many do you remember?
   Head  lights dimmer switches on the  floor.
   Ignition switches on  the dashboard.
   Heaters  mounted on the inside of the fire  wall.
   Real  ice boxes.
   Pant  leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
   Soldering  irons you heat on a gas  burner.
   Using  hand signals for cars without turn signals.
   
    Older Than Dirt Quiz  :
   
Count  all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told  about.
   Ratings  at the bottom.
   1. Blackjack chewing  gum
   
2.Wax  Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar  water
   3.  Candy cigarettes
   4.  Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
   5.  Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke    boxes
   
6.  Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard  stoppers

   7. Party  lineson  the telephone
   8.  Newsreels before the movie
   
9.  P.F. Flyers   10.  Butch wax
   11..  TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and  were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there  were only 3 channels[if  you were fortunate])
   12.  Peashooters
   13. Howdy  Doody
   
14.  45 RPM records
   15. S& H  greenstamps
   16.  Hi-fi's   
17.  Metal ice trays with lever
   18.  Mimeograph paper
   19.  Blue flashbulb
   20.  Packards
   21.  Roller skate keys
   22.   Cork  popguns
   23.  Drive-ins   24.  Studebakers
   25.  Wash tub wringers
   
    
If  you remembered 0-5 = You're still  young
   If  you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
   If  you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your  age,
   If  you remembered 16-25 = You' re older than  dirt!
   
    
I  might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the  best parts  of my life.
   
    
Don't  forget to pass this along!!
   Especially  to all your really OLD friends....

No comments:

Post a Comment